Have you ever thought to your self that if you had to think about one more thing , that your head would explode ? Lately ,I have had so much rolling through my mind , even while I sleep, I wake up thinking about 10 different things. Why can't I think about them while I am awake? Why do I have to become a problem solver in my sleep? It's gotten so bad ,that talking to someone I've known for years, I can't even get their name to slip past my lips! I just forget their name! I have always carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've always ridiculed myself for my failures and inadequecies.
When I get like this , I know that I am not talking to god enough or praying enough. Taking on the world and trying to be a problem solver for everyone , is not my calling..... or maybe it is! But God doesn't want me to be worrying all the time and trying to put puzzles together... he wants me to lean on him and let him do all of that. He wants me to lay all my heartache and worries at his feet. And sometimes ,I struggle with that because I hate the feeling of me loosing control of a situation. And that's where faith and trust comes in. That's giving up the control and letting god have it all. This is a tough issue with me, but as I grow, it will become easier. And until then , I will continue to fix things and hope that one day my fixin will come to an end..... Donna Q.
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